Why I have been sad lately

As many of you already know, or might have guessed. A dear friend of mine and I "broke up". We spent some time together "in real life" and even planned an out of state trip together with our boys. Unfortunately, her husband became ill and we weren't able to go together.

We had several things in common, a desire for natural child birth (lucky girl got to have her baby the way she wanted), breast feeding, cloth diapering, and other similar parenting decisions. We also have the same need to feel loved, and and a ferocity for those we care about. While we did have many things in common, we also had several differences. At the time, we rose above our religious and political differences and saw each other as more than just a conservative Christian and open-minded liberal. We loved each other any way, and I for one enjoyed the fact that we could both see beyond the labels and spend time together.

I could sense at times that I was being kept at arms length, but I thought that was just her way. I loved watching her with her son. She is much more patient than I am, and I always learned to appreciate my son a little more watching this momma interact with her son. She has such an enthusiastic and genuine love for her son as well as a desire to do everything she can to make him an exceptional adult.

My friend and I were a part of a message board for mommies who had babies in the month that Alton was born. We were in fact leaders of the board. For the most part, I have always kept my topics on topic about our children. Previously when I had expressed my religious or political views, it started a fire storm of debate that I did not like to take part in. But as it is an election year, that is all anyone is talking about and I felt free to post my opinions political and religious.

Travis and I are conservative Christians. He is actually much more conservative than I am; I tend to be more moderate about certain things, but we agree on most of the same points. I realize that it is not a popular view, but we believe that the Bible is the word of God. Because the Bible is very clear that homosexuality is wrong, this is the stance we take as well. We believe that marriage is a sacred thing, and it was designed by God to bring a man and woman closer together towards Him. (I know that not everyone has this opinion.) We plan to teach Alton that every person should be treated with respect and courtesy regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, or race. But, we do not support gay marriage. We believe that marriage should be reserved for one man and one female.

This is where it gets sticky. I do not claim to know if homosexuality is something that someone chooses, or if they are born that way. People far more intelligent than I have debated this point for years. I do understand that people want equal rights for everyone, but I can't go against God's word. My relationship with God is just as much a part of me as the fact that I am a woman and mother.

When Alton is old enough to understand that people have different views of topics like these, we plan to teach him that he needs to respect people and their views, but we believe differently. To my friend, this is not good enough. It saddens me to no end that this is true, but it is. I can not continue to work with this person knowing that she finds my beliefs so distasteful, that she is unwilling to spend time with me. It was shocking to me that she felt this way, because I have always found her to be a very open minded person, and I have always thought that tolerance should include both religious and world views. Personally, I have no issues with her beliefs, I just respect her decision to believe what she does. At no time have I tried to persuade her to change her mind or make her feel badly that she feels differently.

I would still love to be friends with this person, but as she is unwilling to accept my Judeo-Christian values, I don't see it happening. It is very sad because I really look up to her as an excellent mother and I loved learning from her. If you are reading this, I miss you. I hope we can work through this.