Wonder Woman Underoos

When I was four or five, I had underoos! Who didn't in the 80's right? Well I had them all, Collect all four! But my favorite ones were my Wonder Woman ones. They were blue, the were red. They were sexy! Well as sexy as a kindergartners underwear can be anyway.
My Wonder Woman Underoos were special. My Wonder Woman Underoos were going to make me fly like Wonder Woman!

So one afternoon, my sister and I decided to try out our new underwear. Kristina was wearing the Princess Leah ones, (in case you did not know, Princess Leah does not fly) so she was just there for moral support. We opened our window, pushed the screen over, I balanced on the window sill, pointed my fingers to the sky like wonder woman, bent my knees and jumped.

I landed on the front lawn.

Determined that it was going to work, I went back in the house. Wonder Woman has those arm bracelets right? So I found some wristbands (hey, it was the 80s) and resumed my perch on the window sill.

Hands were pointed, knees were bent, and JUMP!

I landed on the front lawn.

"Maybe you need a cape! Super Girl has a cape, and Super Man has a cape, maybe you need a cape to fly." My sister shouted this to me from our bedroom window.

Undeterred, I wandered back into the house and set out to find the perfect cape.

A ha! The new towels! There was even a red one to match my underoos! I could not tie the towel tight enough on me, so we rubber banded it on. This was going to work!

Back to the window. Hands pointed, knees bent...

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" My mom shrieked.

"Mommy, she is going to fly in her underoos! Come watch!"

My mom pulled me back in the window by my newly purloined cape, and slid the screen back into place. She took away my cape (my source of power!) and told me to go play outside with CLOTHES on. Didn't she know that clothes would render the magical powers of the underoos useless? I wonder to this day if that red towel would have been the difference between flying through the sky or once again landing on the lawn....